What an original concept! Love it. I'm wondering about putting punctuation at the end of the second line. Maybe a period or colon? But only if I am understanding the poem correctly, because it does change the meaning.
I love it! What a sharp image and nice twist! I have often appreciated the advice to leave punctuation out of haiku so that the reader can find more than one meaning. I like them bald and stark that way.
Thanks, Tabatha, for the suggestion. I actually like that there is two (or more) meanings - that is why I opted for the zero punctuation. I love that readers have a different take on meanings of poems. =)
Thank you, Andromeda! I, too, am not a fan of much punctuation in haiku. I love that my poem is stirring different images/meanings for different people. =)
I like your lack of punctuation. Aren't haiku supposed to not need them? I like thinking of conversationalists being poetic baggers, take care not to bruise with words.
18 comments:
What an original concept! Love it. I'm wondering about putting punctuation at the end of the second line. Maybe a period or colon? But only if I am understanding the poem correctly, because it does change the meaning.
Love this idea too! Tabatha has a good point, but maybe you intended the poem to be read both ways?
I love it! What a sharp image and nice twist! I have often appreciated the advice to leave punctuation out of haiku so that the reader can find more than one meaning. I like them bald and stark that way.
Nice! It is a funny question, isn't it.
Oh, I love the image this triplet brings to mind. Wonderful!
Thanks, Tabatha, for the suggestion. I actually like that there is two (or more) meanings - that is why I opted for the zero punctuation. I love that readers have a different take on meanings of poems. =)
Thanks, Jama! Yes, I think it can be interpreted in a number of ways...sometimes a readers meaning is more profound than my own. =)
Thank you, Andromeda! I, too, am not a fan of much punctuation in haiku. I love that my poem is stirring different images/meanings for different people. =)
Thanks, Liz! Yes, now they should ask did you bring your own bags. =)
Thank you, Joy! I can't look at a bagger in the grocery store the same way again - they, too, may be a poet. =)
I like your lack of punctuation. Aren't haiku supposed to not need them? I like thinking of conversationalists being poetic baggers, take care not to bruise with words.
I love poems that use the title in such an intentional way!
Seems your provoking a lot of thought with this one little haiku, Bridget. We're all poetic baggers at heart, aren't we?
Thank you! Bruising with words is too common these days on social media - hopefully people are more careful in their face-to-face conversations. =)
Thank you, Mary Lee! Titles are so hard, aren't they?
Thank you, Michelle! Yes, we are, and we are all fragile. =)
I love the layers that could be discerned in just three lines. Thank you for this thought-provoking post, Bridget.
Thank you, Myra! Sometimes I think smaller poems with fewer words provoke the most thought. I think they let the reader in a little more maybe. =)
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