Monday, December 8, 2014

Dear Santa - Holiday Contest Entry

Happy Monday! I do not usually post on Mondays, but today is an exception because...
it is the Susanna Leonard Hill's 4th Annual Holiday Contest!


Here's the challenge: "Write a children's story (children here defined as approximately age 12 and under) in which wild weather impacts the holidays!  Your story may be poetry or prose, silly or serious or sweet, religious or not, based on Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate, but is not to exceed 350 words."

Here's my entry: 

Dear Santa,

I can explain about the glue, the scissors, and my sister's hair the incident.  It was an accident. It was my sister's fault. It was a mistake.  I was going to ask you for an iPad for Christmas, but since the incident, mom said, "it is out of the question, Buster" I don't want one anyway.  What I really want is for you to help a man I saw yesterday.  When we were coming home from the beauty parlor and my sister was having a spaz-attack upset about her hair, I saw a man standing on the curb.  He wasn't wearing a coat or a hat.  He was holding a dirty cardboard sign that said he didn't have a job or food.  It said he was a vet, but I didn't see any dogs or cats around him.  I'm worried about him.  The weather lady who looks like one of my sister's Barbie dolls very nice said that there was a blizzard coming with lots and lots and lots of snow.  I know I have a big mouthed tattletale sister made mistakes, but that man on the street maybe didn't.  I try to be good. Actually I've been good this year, this month, this week today. Instead of getting me an iPad, can you help that man? I think he needs lots of stuff for the cold.  I bet you stay warm because you are fat have a warm red suit.  That man needs a warm suit, but it doesn't have to be red.  I like blue, but don't bring him anything purple. Any color is fine.  And can you hurry? I know Christmas is still 16days, 13 hours, 43 minutes a little ways away, but the blizzard will be here tonight.

Love from,
Louie

P. S. Since I wrote a nice letter can I at least get an iPod you write me back? But only after you help that man I saw yesterday. 




©2014 Bridget Magee

55 comments:

  1. Aw, it's a sweet story, Bridget. Love the cross-outs. You've told a lot about Louie, & made him the complex character children usually are (but don't always show). Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Linda! I appreciate your kind words. I've seen a bit of Louie in both of my kids at one time or another. =)

      Delete
  2. What a great story! I love the crossed out, it looks something like my kid's lists right now! Good luck in the contest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elaine! I think cross outs show our kids' true thoughts. =)

      Delete
  3. This is so true to for a little boy with a big sister! I'm sure my siblings felt this way about me!
    Loved how you gave him depth with the crossed-out words. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tracey! It is tough being the big and little sibling - pros and cons to both. =)

      Delete
  4. Such a clever way to tell your very sweet story! I agree with the others about the cross-out words too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Teresa! I appreciate your kind comment. =)

      Delete
  5. Great concept! I cross-outs help draw the reader with the kid's real voice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Manju! I think kids feel one way, but they know they have to write a formal letter another. I was trying to capture that. =)

      Delete
  6. Such a heartfelt story. Never enough altruism. Great entry -- crossed out words and all. They did flush out Louie's character. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Patricia! Louie is a good kid - despite himself. =)

      Delete
  7. Great letter story and very true. Wish all kids cared like Louie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Tina! I think most kids think like Louie - they are aware of so much more than we realize. =)

      Delete
  8. Brilliant and so needed, and the sub story was really fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Johnell! I appreciate your kind words. =)

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Thank you, Kelley! I enjoy "subtle" humor. =)

      Delete
  10. I laughed so hard and then teared up too, Beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Linda! I'm glad I was able to bring a smile to your face today. =)

      Delete
  11. Oh Bridget, This is sooo touching and sooo funny at the same time. I hope Louie gets his wish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Teresa! Yes, I hope Louie gets his wish, too. =)

      Delete
  12. I love this story because I can relate to Louie and the way he censors what he's saying. The crossed out words cracked me up. Very funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Alayne! I think I relate to Louie too - maybe a little too much. LOL =)

      Delete
  13. Absolutely fabulous, Bridget, You did so well to maintain a rhythm with the strikethroughs too. What a neat idea! And a kind story for Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Catherine! I appreciate your kind words. =)

      Delete
  14. Nice combination of humor and sentiment -- that is hard to do!
    Kristen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kristen! Yes this was hard, but Louie had something to say and I had to listen. =)

      Delete
  15. Like the comment above, I enjoyed how you managed to combine humor with a serious topic. I especially like your cross-out technique. Good luck. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, CA! I appreciate you kind comments. =)

      Delete
  16. Great read. The crossed-out words make this story a keeper. It would be a good picture book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Robyn! I would love to see this as a picture book - thanks for the suggestion. =)

      Delete
  17. What a great story, Bridget! I love your MC's voice - it comes through so perfectly with all those cross-outs (very funny!) :) I laughed out loud multiple times - always a good sign :) But I really like that under the authentic kid voice and the humor is a good heart and a message about taking care of others... in a very believably kid way :) Great job! Thanks so much for joining in the holiday fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Susanna! I truly appreciate your encouraging words and for hosting this great contest every year. You are a gem. =)

      Delete
  18. Oh Bridget...I love your story! It moved me to tears...your mc was so real and authentic...I connected with him immediately. Wonderful message...you had me engaged from the first line. Incredible!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Vivian! I'm glad Louie was able to touch you in a real way - we need more smiles than tears, though. =)

      Delete
  19. This made me proper laugh out loud! And combined with a nice message too. Really like it :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Nick! I'm so glad you got a good laugh. Louie would be proud despite himself. =)

      Delete
  20. Very nice letter to Santa. (I'm more of a naughty person, so I LOVE the crossed out parts.) Last year while I attended a MOPs program, we assembled blessing bags with some toiletries, snacks and a list of resources to hand out to people asking for help. I need to make some more of those.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Stacy! I'm a bit of a naughty person that's why I was able to channel Louie. The MOPs program sounds wonderful! =)

      Delete
  21. Awesome story - love the cross outs. Very clever and funny and touching, not an easy combination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sylvia! I SO appreciate your kind comments. =)

      Delete
  22. Bridget, your story-letter brought tears to my eyes because it is - unfortunately - true-to-life for many vets. Your crossing out of words and humour also brought smiles. Great writing. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Lynn! Yes, the reality for many vet is often bleak and like the vet in this story, sometimes dire. Louie is like a lot of kids/adults who see the problem and want to help. =)

      Delete
  23. I love how Louie leaves little clues for Santa! Now, you need to write a part two to tell us if Santa found the clues.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you, Saranyan, for that great suggestion! Yes, I do think a reply letter from Santa would be fun. =)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Very clever, Bridget! The crossed out style is fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Carrie! I appreciate your kind comment! =)

      Delete
  26. Bridget, this is great! I snorted a few times on the cross outs.:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Lauri! I'm so glad I was able to make you snort. You made me smile with your kind comment. =)

      Delete
  27. beautiful, touching and cute all in one. well done

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Cecilia! I appreciate your kind and generous feedback. =)

      Delete